Everyday Tips for Managing Stress

Stress is unavoidable and unfortunately just a part of life. But there are reasons why our stress levels can be a bit more off the charts than others. When stress starts to increase, finding ways to deal with the stress can go to the bottom of our to-do list. It seems counterintuitive, but we often just focus on surviving in the moment. This is not only normal, but what our physiology is programmed to do. However, only focusing on surviving stress doesn’t always resolve it. We’re going to walk through what happens in our body when we’re stressed, tricks to finding the root causes, and everyday things you can do to not only survive stress but manage it effectively. 

The Stress Response

Two key players in processing stress are the amygdala and hypothalamus glands in the brain. The amygdala gland is a bit like a coach. It sees all the moving pieces on the field and alerts the team captain when something isn’t right. From there, the captain (aka the hypothalamus gland) signals the rest of the players (aka the nervous system) on what they should do next in response. Anytime something as minor as getting cut off in traffic happens, the amygdala sounds the alarm to the hypothalamus, which notifies our nervous system that it’s time for a stress response. 

This stress response is also known as “Fight or Flight” and “Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn.” A lot of us have heard of Fight or Flight before, but we might be under the assumption that it only happens when we’re in danger. Instead, that same response happens any time we are experiencing stress, no matter how minor or major. This Fight or Flight response activates the release of hormones throughout our body. Adrenaline increases our heart rate and blood sugar levels while cortisol slows non-essential functions such as our immune, digestive, and reproductive systems.  

Having a Fight or Flight response is a crucial thing to our survival. When we’re in danger, it increases our survival abilities. The downside is that our bodies aren’t meant to stay in Fight or Flight long term. But with chronic stress, we often do. This can have negative impacts on our health and overall lives. It can lead to digestive issues, irritability and heightened anxiety, depression, lowered immune health, sexual dysfunction, reproductive complications, muscle tension, and more. If you’re experiencing impacts on your health in any capacity or want to identify more ways to manage stress in your life, talk with a healthcare professional.

Instead of focusing on how to eliminate all stress from our lives (which, if you’ve figured out how, please let us know), it’s more effective to learn how to get ourselves back to an equilibrium by completing the stress cycle.  

Are You Stressed?

Stress is such a normal part of our lives, that we may not even be able to identify it. Or we assume that stress only counts if it’s from a “big stressor” like moving houses, going through a breakup, or starting a new job. But all those little stressors such as being late for work or spilling coffee on your shirt can add up.

If we don’t know that we’re stressed, it’s nearly impossible to do anything about it. Psychology Today put out a quiz that helps you assess your stress level. This can be a good starting point, but we recommend using this quiz as a tool to help you reflect on potential stressors in your life vs using it as a diagnosis. Think about the big changes that have happened in your life, if you’ve been having trouble sleeping or eating, how your relationships are going, the projects you have at work or school, and if you’ve been sick a lot. These can help as reference points for places where stress may be popping up. 

If you’ve been able to pinpoint some of the root causes of your stress, this adds more context to what may be helpful. As we lay out everyday tips for managing stress, keep in mind the root cause. For example, if you have a huge pending deadline at work, going on a run may help your body dissolve a bit of stress, which is great. But scheduling mini personal deadlines along the way may help pinpoint the specific stress caused by the project.

It’s not always that easy, and there’s no one playbook for managing stress, so it can take time to find what works best for you in each situation, but this next section can serve as an inspiration for everyday stress management. 

Managing Stress

Move Your Body

This tip can be restrictive depending on each person’s mobility, so it may not be the best fit for everyone. When we say “move your body” we are including and going beyond exercising. Exercise releases endorphins that work to combat stress. They can also act as a mood booster, so you’re getting a 2-for-1 deal by reducing stress and feeling better overall. But exercise is not the only way to reduce stress through moving our bodies.

If you’re ever watched a nature documentary, you’ll notice that if a mammal escapes after being chased, it will do a full body shudder. The animal is quite literally shaking off the Fight or Flight response so that it can return to normal. Our bodies work the same way. So even though it may feel ridiculous, turn on music and shake your whole body. If you want a little more guidance, there are videos that will walk you through it.
Sometimes when larger movements are not possible, smaller motions like wiggling your fingers and toes or doing jaw stretches can help bring awareness to your body and relieve tension.

Masturbation + Sex

We might be biased, but this is one of our favorites and it’s probably most people’s favorite. Sex and masturbation are backed by research as ways to reduce stress. Both masturbation and partnered sex release the same endorphins as exercise. They also release oxytocin, which helps you feel a deeper connection to a partner, and they help reduce cortisol levels (a big player in stress).

Stress can cause some people to want to avoid sex all together, so if that’s you, don’t force yourself. But if this sounds like your kind of stress relief, then we give you a hall pass to grab some lube and take a timeout after that stressful meeting – just make sure you find a private place.

Set Boundaries

This is a little less fun than having sex, but just as important. We can’t expect our bosses, partners, family members, friends, or coworkers to set and enforce boundaries for us. Only we know what our individual capacity is and what may tip us over the edge. There will always be times when we have too much on our plate and there’s not a lot we can do about it. But you may have more control during other times. And in those instances, it’s ok to say “no.” Asking for help goes hand-in-hand with boundaries. Someone else on your team at work might be able to help proofread your presentation in their free time or you can just order dinner versus cooking. Setting boundaries allows for you to return the favor when others need it instead of constantly stretching yourself too thin and burning out along the way. 

Get Outside

Fun fact: being outside also reduces cortisol levels. If you’re able to get some vitamin D through sunshine, even better. Not only does getting outside reduce cortisol levels, but research suggests it improves brain function, creativity, and problem solving skills. And, we’re talking only roughly 20 minutes in the sun. So yes, actually taking your lunch break away from your computer and sitting outside will help.

Schedule Rest

It’s nearly impossible to do any of these tips if you don’t have time in your day to do them. Just like scheduling a meeting, schedule time for yourself (and stick to it) - put it in your calendar. That time can be used to go to the gym, get outside, take a nap, or binge watch some TV. It’s all about finding time to do what works best for you, and that could look different each day. One day you might really need to give your body a break, skip the gym, and sleep in. Another day, you might want to work your stress out through an intense boxing class. One day, rest might look like cooking a meal for yourself and another, it might look like ordering takeout so that you don’t have to do dishes. 

There’s no one right way to de-stress, but you do have to set aside time to do whatever it is that does help you de-stress.