If you’re like many guys, odds are you’ve felt the pressure to perform in the bedroom. Even for the best of us, building sexual confidence is a life-long undertaking of personal growth. But the good news is that there are plenty of ways to jump-start your confidence in the bedroom. Come with us as we explore some methods for bringing your A-game and becoming your best sexual self.
Have More Foreplay
There’s no way we could overstate the importance of foreplay. Not only is it an essential part of mind-blowing sex, but it’s also a fantastic confidence booster. Foreplay allows you and your partner to slow down and enjoy pleasure in a very intentional way. This means you have a front-row seat to understand what you and your partner respond to the most. By slowing down, you’re more in tune with pleasure and are better equipped to give your partner more explosive orgasms. Think of foreplay like warming up before a game. Sure, you may be able to play without warming up, but you’ll be able to perform at your best only when you’ve had a chance to rev up first.
If you’re looking to extend foreplay, having a quality lube on hand is important. Champ’s lubes are formulated to protect your skin for comfortable, pleasurable sex.
Engage in Positive Self-Talk
While this may seem like stereotypical advice, the truth is that the way we talk to ourselves internally has a real, measurable impact on us both inside and out. In fact, The Washington Post notes that many researchers have found that self-affirmation leads to many positive effects including stress buffering.
But what does this look like day to day? Positive self-talk is all about what you do and don’t say to yourself. For example, reminding yourself about your positive qualities when you catch a self-deprecating thought is a great habit to form. Another form of positive self-talk is affirmations. Paying yourself a compliment can help train your brain into the habit of positive self-talk. If you build a solid foundation of self-love and confidence, you’ll easily be able to translate that into the bedroom.
Get To Know Yourself
The process of understanding your needs and wants is incredibly important for sexual confidence. Specifically, it’s critical to know yourself internally and externally. What do you want or like in the bedroom? What do you want out of a sexual relationship? Do you have any unresolved insecurities or questions about your sexual self? Getting to the bottom of questions like these requires some internal and external work. That’s why enjoying sexual encounters as pleasurable learning experiences is a great way to learn about your wants and needs in the bedroom.
Another way to get to know yourself is through therapy or counseling. If the prospect of therapy sounds intimidating, we don’t blame you. Society often expects men to “just know” everything about themselves, especially when it comes to sex. But this is an unrealistic expectation. If you’re struggling with ongoing insecurities or mental health issues that make things difficult in the bedroom, there’s never any shame in seeking help to address those issues. This will help your overall mental health, and boost your sexual confidence. Understanding yourself in this way will help you develop a sense of confidence that is authentic to you, rather than a phony front of shallow vanity.
Seek Treatment for Sexual Performance Issues
If you’ve ever experienced performance issues in the bedroom, you know that they can put a major ding in your sexual confidence. But sexual performance issues are far more common than you may think. In fact, Medical News Today mentions that 8% of men affected by ED are aged 20-29. According to the National Institutes of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Disease, about 30 million men in the U.S. experience erectile dysfunction (ED). And the National Library of Medicine notes roughly 30% to 75% of men are affected by some degree of premature ejaculation (PE).
The good news is that there are tons of treatments for sexual performance issues that range from lifestyle changes to medical interventions. If you’re experiencing issues with getting or maintaining erections, or with premature ejaculation, don’t be afraid to reach out to your doctor and discuss the many prescription and non-prescription treatment options available to you. With so many treatment options out there, you’re better off seeking help sooner rather than later for the good of your overall health and sexual confidence.
Explore, Explore, Explore
When it comes to sexual confidence, exploration is a fantastic method for building your repertoire of sexual skills. Like any other ability, sex takes practice and enthusiasm. Having an open and eager attitude toward sexual exploration isn’t just an attractive quality, it’s a skill that will help you feel your best in the bedroom.
But what does sexual exploration look like? That depends on you -- for some people, sexual exploration means engaging with different partners. For others, it’s all about introducing new toys, positions, or scenarios into the bedroom. Outside of partnered play, you could experiment with different methods of masturbation and self-pleasure. Ultimately, the spirit of enthusiastic and positive sexual exploration can help you understand a broad range of sexual possibilities that are sure to impress many a partner.
Developing a strong sense of confidence in the bedroom doesn’t happen overnight, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Rather than an immediate shift, sexual confidence is the result of many small life changes that add up over time. Your sex life can be impacted by a variety of different factors including mental and physical wellness, which means that becoming your best self in the bedroom is a deeply personal process. The good news is that this process can be a fun and fulfilling experience. In other words, focusing on the journey of becoming your most confident sexual self is just as important as the destination.
Rather than a chore, improving your self-image and confidence is the result of having more positive, thrilling experiences and getting to know yourself on a deeper level. The more you get to know yourself and the more experiences you have, your sexual confidence will surely grow. So get out there and have fun becoming your most confident sexual self.