How To Navigate Sex in a New Relationship

Starting a new relationship is nothing short of thrilling. It’s a whirlwind time full of heightened passion, desire, and emotions. Given how intense new connections can feel, it’s not always immediately clear how sex and intimacy fit into the beginning stages of a relationship. After all, every person and couple is unique—especially when it comes to sex. So how exactly should one go about navigating it all? Keep reading as we uncover some tips and tricks for setting a strong foundation for sex and intimacy in a new relationship. 

Understanding New Relationship Energy

Before considering how to navigate sex with a new partner, it’s crucial to understand why feelings of desire are so heightened at the start of a new relationship. Often called “new relationship energy” (NRE) or the “honeymoon phase,” this stage is characterized by high levels of desire and even infatuation. While experiencing NRE, it can feel impossible to stop thinking about your partner and you may want to be around them 24/7. From a biological perspective, this intensity is caused by increased levels of dopamine and oxytocin in the brain. These hormones help bond you to your new partner, contributing to feelings of happiness and desire. However, NRE is also characterized by increased cortisol levels which can prompt worries or insecurities about the newly forming relationship. 

In a nutshell, the chaotic cocktail of hormones buzzing about your brain during the NRE phase can feel overwhelming. This can make it even more challenging to mindfully navigate sex and intimacy with a new partner. But worry not! NRE is temporary, lasting anywhere from six months to several years. While these intense feelings may be intoxicating, it’s not something that should last forever. Long-lasting connections are built as relationships evolve over time, with couples deepening their bond by overcoming new challenges and situations.  

But why are we talking about this now? After all, you’re looking for advice on navigating sex within the throws of a new relationship. When you’re in the honeymoon phase, it can be difficult to imagine feeling anything other than this all-encompassing desire. However, acknowledging that this phase is temporary is essential for navigating sex in a new relationship successfully. By understanding NRE, you can begin planting the seeds for excitement, desire, and fun that endures well after the honeymoon phase has ended. And who doesn’t want that? 

Tips for Navigating Sex in a New Relationship

Communicate

At the heart of a sexually satisfied couple (no matter how long they’ve been together) is solid communication. Talking about your desires, boundaries, and expectations with your partner is one of the best things you can do for your sex life and relationship. While you’re still getting to know your new partner on a deeper level, you have the perfect opportunity to start conversations about what they like or don’t like in bed. But it’s also easy to feel nervous with a new partner, and broaching the subject of sex can feel intimidating. 

In this case, it’s important to lead with confidence. Remember, your relationship is still forming and you both have the opportunity to establish healthy habits as a couple. One of these habits can include transparency. Sometimes, being honest about the nervousness or hesitation you’re feeling about sex can help your partner feel less nervous too. After all, their cortisol levels are also high and they’re likely feeling just as anxious as you are. Setting the tone by calling out these feelings can be incredibly comforting for both you and your partner. 

Really Get To Know Each Other

In a new relationship, you and your partner explore one another (in more ways than one). As you get to know each other, pay attention to your partner’s emotional, intellectual, and physical preferences. From erogenous zones to mental turn-on's, understanding what makes your partner tick sexually is crucial. 

By communicating and developing your understanding of one another, you and your partner can also align on subjects like contraception, consent, and sexual history. Every person’s past is different, and you or your partner may have past trauma involving sex. Since everyone’s sexual experience is different, creating a comfortable environment can help ease these conversations. This can be an intimidating part of getting to know your partner, but by creating an expectation of transparency and safety within your relationship, you’ll help set the stage for a more satisfying sex life.  

Go At Your Own Pace

Building off of our last tip, it’s important to consider each partner’s preferred pace for escalating physical intimacy. Both partners come into new relationships with entirely unique lives and experiences, so there’s no singular “right” timeline to follow when it comes to sex. This is where patience, communication, and understanding your partner come in clutch. Without knowing your partner and what they’re comfortable with, you may end up feeling confused or even rejected if your pace for sexual intimacy differs from theirs. 

It’s also important to consider that your relationship may progress at different rates with different kinds of sex. For example, one of you may be more comfortable with oral sex than penetrative sex at first. Or perhaps one partner prefers a certain level of foreplay before things escalate. These are all things you’ll discover about each other so long as you go at your own unique pace and enjoy the journey of getting to know each other physically. 

Get Creative 

At the start of a new relationship, heightened desire may make you more willing to expand your sexual horizons. Assuming that you and your partner are both on the same page when it comes to new things to try, you can explore different types of toys, lube, condoms, fantasies, and scenarios. What’s fun about this is that no two couples will have the same experience when it comes to sexual exploration. So as long as you’re both on board with getting creative, this can be an incredibly rewarding exercise. Not only does trying new things help you have more fun in the moment, but it also sets a solid foundation for even more exciting times with your partner further down the road.  

Sex and intimacy are complex, to say the least, and they can become even more complicated in the context of an exciting new relationship. While it’s important to enjoy the thrills of this honeymoon phase, it’s just as important to be mindful and intentional about navigating this period in your relationship. By prioritizing communication, getting to know your partner, going at your own pace, and being open to trying new things, you can build a strong foundation for a fulfilling and lasting connection.